A Little Class With The Bitch...

Disclosure: What is written below does not pertain to Forever 21, please refer to How To Avoid An Anxiety Attack In 5 Steps.

After another long day working the retail trenches I went home, opened a bottle of wine (some days glasses are not necessary), and pondered why some customers are such ass holes. If this comment seems slightly harsh then you have clearly never worked in retail. There are many types of shoppers out there, but my least favorite are those who shop to feel better about themselves by crushing the hopes and dreams of sales associates (ok, well that might be a little dramatic, but you get the jist). Now don't get me wrong, excellent customer service is a must for all retail stores, but that does not mean associates are there to watch your children, or follow you around as if they are your pack mule. Perhaps it is time for Emily Post's basics of etiquette remix edition: if you do not pile designer clothes on your closet floor do not do it in a fitting room, if water or cappuccino is offered and you decline you do not deserve the right to demand a beverage later, and finally if you are greeted then you need to respond as not doing so is just plain rude and no one likes a stuck up bitch.
Today's Lesson: If you are not polite enough for face to face shopping, then you should only shop at places with a self-help check out lane.

I Swear To Tell The Whole Truth....

My friend over at Your Style Scout (totally helpful--check it out!) has tagged me in a "10 Honest Things About You" game, as seen on Facebook, but for bloggers. As I know you are clearly so interested in me (which I would be too if I were you...) here are 10 things for you to learn.
1. I have always wanted to be on the Real World. Unfortunately, this will not happen as I have morals. I still dream of being on a reality show.
2. Disney World is my favorite place in the entire world. Yet, I do not like children.
3. Writing has always been one of my favorite things. I dream of one day writing a novel.
4. I watch Food Network while working out. I once even ordered take out while on the Stair Master.
5. My scary age is 30.
6. I have always loved the Spice Girls and Victoria Beckham is one of my icons. I regret not seeing their reunion concert.
7. When I grow up I want to be Chelsea Handler.
8. I truly love my pets more than I like most people.
9. I rationalize things in my life according to "Hey, It's Ok..." in Glamour Magazine every month.
10. When I was little I wanted to be a paleontologist (study dinos).

A bonus #11: I don't like to share much...so that's all folks!

Bitter is the New Black

Over the course of the last three months I have spent a majority of my time unemployed. Besides not being able to afford the cutest new DVF wedges, the worst part of unemployment is having to wait in line at your local unemployment office. Let me preface this by saying that I am not as bitchy as this will sound (well, maybe I am..) but do they really need to place these offices in the most poverty stricken neighborhoods of cities? I mean c'mon?! So while being judged by the man assigned to make me a "resume" that consisted of incoherent sentences about my "skills" I thought there has to be something more. After leaving hell, I mean the unemployment office, I went immediately to Barnes and Noble to find a self help book to get me out of my slump. I first looked at the highly praised "Eat, Pray, Love" about a rich bitch who took a year vacay to find the "meaning of life." Being jobless, broke, and depressed I found that I was not in the mood to hear a recap of the priveleged girl's trip around the world. Once my frustration surpassed I stumbled upon it. "Bitter is the New Black-Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry a Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office." It was as if a choir was singing "Hallelujah" around me. It was PERFECT. Through Jen Lancasters rantings I found that I too had lots to share about my passion for fashion. So here we are. I can't wait for this journey to start, and hope you enjoy the ride!